Move over Mariah Carey, this is a babe with a beat.

Move over Mariah Carey, this is a babe with a beat.

As the saying goes, it’s the thought that counts.

That’s why I’m always thinking of you, babe. #letsbefrank.

While I’d love to have a huge scrub session on Christmas Day, not every family wants to get close to their cousin. So here’s a better suggestion where clothes stay on. As one talented babe likes to call it: a “gift-rap”.

You may remember me from such raps as “Nice butt. Rhymes with coconut.” from my new Babe Island skincare kit. Now I’m sharing some of my secrets so you too can make a babe’s day, one rhyme at at time…

Tip #1: Make a list. And check it twice.

Get your head around the subject: know your babe and write a list of everything you love about them. Christmas is for sharing, but don’t overshare. Not everyone needs to know about last NYE.

Tip # 2: Take the time to find a rhyme.

And hello thesaurus. Now you’ve got a list, write alongside each of those babe’n points some rhyming words. Here’s one I prepared earlier. I titled it “An Ode to the Coconut”:

“They’re hairy, but they get you smooth.

They can defrizz and put you in the streaking mood.

They’re round and tough just like your boobs.

So I’ve squished them up and put them in some tubes.”

As you can see tubes = boobs and so on. Poetry.

Tip #3: Beat your own drum. Or get a drum.

You’ve got a rhyme, now time to match it with a beat. Thinking Caribbean? Or maybe the simple sound of your fingers clicking? Play some songs you like and steal some lines. They’ll never find you….

Tip #4: It really can be all smoke and mirrors.

It’s about execution, babe. Take me for example: without execution, I am just a brown bag filled with something that looks a lot like dirt. I put on a show babe and you should too.

Stand on a pink soapbox, or really make it smoke and mirrors with a smoke machine. Not so keen on a live rendition? Record it on your phone and send it to them so they can play it whenever they want. Just like soft, glowing skin, a personalised rap is a gift that gives every day.

Over to you MC-Babe.

Don’t forget to share it on social.

x frank

Move over Mariah Carey, this is a babe with a beat.