Things that should be old: clothes.
Things that shouldn’t: tan.
A story about how a babe got her fake tan wrong and a boy who stuck by her.
It starts off innocent:
Babe, tan, bathroom. Everything seems to be going well. As per packet, you’re applying in even circular motions all over your body. Careful not to put on too much, too little or miss a spot. If anything, the next 10-15 minutes are more stressful than any life trial you’ve faced.
Everything seems to be going well:
You leave things settle. You phone a friend, you eat some food, you spend 1-2 minutes panicking about a life decision you made 10 years ago until you hear your timer go off. Off to the shower babe! Washing the tan off and patting yourself dry, all seems well.
You look down at your hands. Are they your hands? Half orange, half your normal skin tone. There’s a patch there and suddenly, in the mirror, you spot another.
You want to look away but can’t:
There are patches everywhere. Nothing is even. You curse your tanning mit, you curse your tan, you curse yourself. You’re about to phone your friend with an excuse that you can’t make it but are also experiencing fomo at the thought of not going so you sit down with your thoughts.
Suddenly… there’s a light:
You remember some wise words ‘The best workouts happen in the shower.’ So, you return to the scene of the crime with some extra enforcement: me. My Coconut Coffee Scrub is packed with roasted and ground coffee beans and rich oils like coconut, I banish dry skin, aid collagen production and am your answer to dry patchy tan. You also don’t have to scrub your arm off to get it off. This is my richest, oil based scrub so tan goes on and off like a dream, not a nightmare. You breathe a sigh of relief knowing that this awkward patch is a normal part of life and will soon be over.
Your phone rings:
Our three minutes is up. The tan is gone. Your skin is smooth, even and glowing. In fact, it’s the perfect base for you to re-apply without the stress of a do-over. Exfoliation was the step you missed and the key to getting it right the first time but like all good stories, this one has a happy ending. Even better, it has a dirty one. Just remember to exfoliate even after you tan to keep things clean and even.
Shall we try again babe?