Something’s been on my mind. It continues to stump me.
Don’t get me wrong, you babes look bangin’ with a summer glow and I love that you’re being sun smart.
But a fake looking tan – that’s questionable.
I’ve told you before, I like the way you smell.
That’s why I was so fussy when choosing my ingredients, like almond oil and orange essence, or coconut and grapeseed oil.
I wanted ingredients that were good enough to eat, so that your skin would be good enough to eat*, too.
But on behalf of all men, I want to say there is nothing worse than the smell of a bad fake tan. You know it, too.
I want to give you some tanning tips, listen carefully; I’m only going to say this once:
- if you’re going to wear white, or sleep in white sheets, just don’t fake tan. Or tan lightly.
- using toothpaste to wash your hands post application will get rid of dark orange streaks. You heard me.
- a gradual tan is a good one. It surprises us when you change ethnicity in less than a week. Also, in winter, we expect you to be paler so don’t go overboard.
- if you’re going to tan your bod, tan your face, too. No one likes a top deck babe.
- be thorough, and don’t miss spots. I mean your underarms, behind your knees, your elbows and your wrists. I like an even, all over tan.
- when it starts looking shabby, scrub it all off, and start again. I can help with that one.
Now, to help with the tanning I have called on one of my special frankfurts:
J Hawk. #frankcrush
If anyone knows a summer glow, it’s this babe.
Which is why we’ve been spending some quality time together.
We might just be your new favourite duo.
You know the drill, get naked and shower with me. This will prevent the streaks and uneven finish. Then follow the golden girl herself and get some J Bronze on you.
And when it’s time to start again, exfoliate with me. Wash, rinse, repeat.
The results? I blush trying to explain it.