From orgasms to jalapenos, I know how my babes soothe their Sunday sweats.
But what does your skin crave when it wakes up foggy, sweaty and slightly delirious?
The same things you do, well… almost.
Your skin wants to get clean just like you. It wants to wash away all the sweat, dirt and glitter you smeared yourself in. Water’s good, cleanser is better. Go for a cleanser with charcoal to help detoxify your skin, but won’t leave your skin feeling too tight. It gets in deep to bring up all the bad stuff, so your skin won’t puke them up later, as pimples.
Translation: coconut oil.
If your skin could climb a coconut tree, it would. It likes it when you sip on a fresh coconut with a cute umbrella. It also likes coconut oil. This oil is super hydrating, but still let’s your skin breathe so won’t make troublesome skin anymore troublesome. Get a jar of coconut oil or better yet get some products with coconut oil in it, so it’s easier to apply. For your bod, I have my Coconut Body Balm and for your face, there’s my Everyday Face Moisturiser. Drink up.
Translation: natural ingredients.
I know you: champagne on a Saturday, green smoothie on a Sunday. Babes are always trying to eliminate the naughty with something nice. Your skin needs that, too. Your pores are like tiny little mouths gobbling up whatever you pop on your skin. After a night of foundation and smoke machines, you need something to balance it out. Go for natural ingredients like shea butter, Vitamin E and sweet almond or grapeseed oils that will hydrate and repair your skin.
So that’s your outsides sorted. For the insides, you need some goodness. Bananas, apples and a high protein brekky like eggs will get you back on track. Avoid orange juice or anything too salty or sweet because it will make you dehydrated once again. And no babe wants to look like last night’s shrivelled up french fry. #letsbefrank.
Translation: er, coffee.
Just how it wakes up your insides, coffee wakes up your outsides, too. It gets the blood pumping to give you rosy, glowy cheeks. That’s why all my products are packed with coffee. What your skin needs to make you look less dead.
Your skin wants to slip into something more comfortable and in a very wide man-spread. Despite not having legs, I understand this. No babe wants tight skin that’s why I made my Everyday Face Moisturiser. It’s lightweight so it will let your skin do it’s thang, while loving it, too.
Translation: soft, silky sheets.
Give your cheeks something snuggly to rest on. I recommend swapping your pillowcase over. After some time, they’re as clean as the club toilets. They gather all the oils from your hair and smear it all over your face. Just think: club toilets. You’ll swap it over sooner than you can say ‘there’s no toilet paper – help me’.
8 hours a night, babe. But because you didn’t get any last night, get my Glow Mask. It’s like sleep in a bottle. Pop it on for 5 minutes for bright, bouncy cheeks. So long corpse face.