I’ve always wished death to decaf.

But in 2017, I feel like it’s time to turn a new bean, a decaffeinated one.

Introducing my new Decaf Coffee Body Scrub.

At $16.95, there’s a lot you can expect, such as:

Dull, lifeless skin.

#letsbefrank, babes love products that don’t work. My new Decaf Coffee Scrub is packed with decaffeinated coffee that does nothing to your skin. So your dead skin cells can stack up, just like a triple layered birthday cake. Yum.

Sleep, lots of it.

If you don’t want to be awake all day, drink decaf. If you want your skin to look like it’s never seen the light of day, use my decaf scrub.

It feels and smells like yesterday’s coffee.

You know when you forget to rinse out your Keep Cup and there’s a little bit left? I smell and feel just like that. Sweet.

And it doesn’t come with free shipping.

Just like a decaf coffee, you need to pay more for it. So expect an extra 10% on your order.

Interested?

Well look no further…because it doesn’t exist.

April Fool’s, babe.

Got ya.

Don’t worry, babe. I’ll scrub your skin all better, with a real coffee scrub.

x frank