I’ve been busy scrubbing babes recently. So it wasn’t until I spent an evening scrubbing the Australian Olympic Team that I realised the Games were on. I think the green and gold necktie on the floor gave it away… and how one babe kept pole vaulting the shower curtain. #scrubskills.
They seemed like a good bunch, so I snuck into their carry-on and headed for Rio de Janeiro. They chased medals, I chased Brazilians and my mummas chased me.
My sweaty packet was worth it. Here’s my
rubdown rundown on Rio:
It’s the home of babes.
And those itsy-bitsy-teenie-weenie bikinis. Now picture them on Gisele Bündchen (the babe above), Alessandro Ambrosio and Adriana Lima. Need I say more?
It’s home to bump love.
And showing them off. Brazil has an open bumps policy where booty and boobies are all out for show. They jiggle, they wiggle and can be found on the beach, in a restaurant, on the street or just generally in your face. Because #letsbefrank, you should love your lady lumps.
It’s home to coffee.
So that means it’s home to me – and my coffee-based skincare. I get my coffee beans from all over the place, but these beans are the ones that make me sexy. Like a g-string, for coffee scrubs. That’s why it’s my key ingredient.
It’s home to smooth skin.
Brazilian waxing is more about necessity around here, because there’s not much fabric down… there. While the Brazilian wax is perfectly suited for the Brazilian way of life, it’s not where it all started. We actually have ancient Egypt to thank for that. Cleopatra, now she’s a babe I would’ve loved to scrub with. #scrubgoals.
It’s home to PDA.
In the bathroom, the street, the restaurant and with anyone and everyone. In Brazil, every encounter starts with a kiss. It’s called dois beijos, which means when you meet someone you offer them two kisses – one on each cheek. That’s why my Lip Duo went down a treat with Brazilian babes.
It’s home to a pink breakfast.
The Acai bowl. The Acai berry is a tropical fruit that comes from the Amazon. It’s rich in antioxidants which can lower cholesterol and give your skin that healthy glow babes are always talking about. So you can see why they call it God’s gift to Brazil. Interesting, I always thought I was.
It’s home to parties.
Carnivals, parties, scrub parties. Any country that loves the least amount of clothes and the most amount of skin is fine by me. I had some pretty sweaty scrub sessions while I was there so I called on my Peppermint Coffee Scrub. For active babes who want to feel fresh after a gym sesh – or for babes who have spent the past 12 hours gyrating in a club.
Oh, and it’s home to the Olympics this year.
Just another reason to watch people in lycra do activities I would rather see in the shower. Not that I’m complaining. It got me to Brazil after all.
Know any Brazilians? Let’s see them on social.
What can I say? I’m a man of the world.