You think you’re the only person who likes to be treated to a night in a hotel?

There’s nothing more I like than being treated to you in a hotel bathroom. (scrubbing in the shower, obviously.)

I have had some memorable experiences of luscious champagne and canapés, while other experiences have been less than inspiring. I’m sure you’ve been in the same boat room.

You arrive right on time, bags falling off your arms (this one I can’t identify with), your fingers turning blue from the weight.

‘Sorry ma’am, your room isn’t quite ready’.

But lobbies don’t really accommodate for shoe boxes flung on the ground, dress bags draped over the sofa, and bundles of scrub in tow. Right?

Finally you arrive in your room, only to realise they must’ve enlisted the best photographer in the world to make this ‘en suite’ look like anything but the concrete washroom that it is.

Things are not as you planned.

Stop the bad dream! I’m here to save the day. Here are my five favourite hotel bathrooms around the world, for you to plan your next scrub sesh within.

1. Southern Ocean Lodge, South Australia – for when you want to swim around in circles.

2. Jade Mountain, Saint Lucia – for when you want to envisage yourself climbing a mountain but not actually doing it.

3. Rome Cavalieri, Italy – for when you’re craving a disco inspired scrub.

4. Baines Camp, Botswana – for those of you who prefer it outside.

5. Royal Monceau, Paris, France – for those who like to see themselves from all angles.

Hotels can have their drawbacks. But when planned accordingly, they can provide some quality alone time with my number one babe(s).

The endless scrub opportunities a private room offers has me tingling with excitement. Or is that from my peppermint scrub? Either way, I’m all in.

Remember that a robe is my preferred dress of choice. Anything else you decide to accessorise with is at your liberty.

One more thing, should you happen to encounter a bad hotel room. No matter the space, the sheets or the room service menu, make the most of me, and give the maids something to do in the morning. (Cleaning the shower, obviously).

xx frank