Poor old Mondays. They’re always told they’re no good. So I’m going to put an end to mundays. Actually, I’m going to rework the whole week. Here we go.
Monday: fun-day.
That’s more like it. Doesn’t that feel better already? Monday is when we take out the mundane.
First up, coffee; great on it’s own, better with Baileys.
Granola; good with yoghurt, better in a pink wig.
The bathroom; great with me, even better with a rotating disco ball.
End of year exam; not good. Ever. Make it better with a glitter pen.
Texting; better in CAPS. BECAUSE CAPS REALLY MAKE PEOPLE READ THINGS. SEE.
Now where was I? Oh yes…
Tuesday: yous-day
In summary: you do you.
This could include spending an extravagant amount of money on cheese. It could also be the day you leave your bra at home. Should’ve called it lose-day. But on this day, there are no losers. #letsbefrank.
Wednesday: friends-day
Since yesterday was all about you, today should be them. More specifically, your best babes.
Shout out your love to them in an inappropriate place or body slam them when they least expect it. Aggression is a sign of affection. So they should be thrilled. #letsbefrank.
Thursday: blur-sday
Basically, shut your eyes and run around in circles.
Or roll down a hill, mutiple times.
Friday: fry-day.
We all love Fridays, but when it involves fries we love them more. #letsbefrank. So let’s eat fries today: deep-fried, oven-fried or smeared in aioli. That’ll make it Fri-yay.
Saturday: itdontmatter-day
Work sucks? Quit.
Feeling lonely? Buy a dog.
Boy doesn’t write back? Assume he’s dead.
Skin feeling dry? Come and see me.
You’ve got problems, Saturday finds solutions.
Sunday: bun-day
Best thing about last night? Sunday hair.
Especially when there’s glitter, espresso martinis or the remaining aioli from your Friday night chips stuck in there. I’m so into it, I could be considered shampoo. But I’m not. So don’t use me there, please.
Pop your hair in a bun and then let me work on those other buns with a Peppermint Coffee Scrub. Just what you need to wash away all of last night’s dirty.
x frank.