As with orgasms & suntans, fake isn't sexy.

#letsbefrank, we all want to please the opposite sex. Or the same sex – I’m not fussy. But sometimes, you think you know what they want however you couldn’t be more mistaken. So, without breaking bro-code: here is what men want. #justthekindofguyiam. You can thank me later, ladies.

I spend a lot of my day thinking about what women want. Can you blame me?

I think about what scents you’re craving, what textures you like.

Ultimately, what makes you babes happy?

On my voyage to please the many babes of this world, I found myself asking another question.

Do babes know what men want? Should they?

So I decided – without breaking bro code – that I would let you in on a few secrets. Why not give them a go? You can thank me later; it’s just the kind of guy I am. And trust me, your beauty sleep will come a lot easier.

1. Please order dessert. Unless the real you has a stomach the size of a bird; please be comfortable in yourself and the person you are dating to order that chocolate pudding you so badly want. As with orgasms & suntans, fake isn’t sexy.

Or if you’re health conscious, at least order my cacao scrub and get your chocolate fix there. Just saying.

2. Men are simple. Do you want to know one of the most satisfying things in the world? Re-sizing a word document from font size 12 to font size 11 so it all fits on a single page. It’s the simple things in life we care about. Thanks to all round funny guy and Australian Hamish Blake for this one.

3. We’re sorry? That horrible day we don’t give you jewellery, but instead a $75 iTunes gift card. You think, “I hate you, you don’t even know me.” Realistically, we have been given socks for the last 20 years, and have been pretty damn pleased with them.

Imagine all the Taylor Swift and Arianna Grande albums you could download with that?

4. Men are visual. We think you’re hot; it’s as simple as that. If you want to change something about yourself, go for it. But do it for you, not us. If your partner is pressuring you to do it, then maybe it’s the relationship that needs re-thinking, not you.

I think all babes are beautiful, you know that.

And lastly, pay particular attention to this one.

5. The most serious thing in our brain is remembering if we have left beer in the freezer. #justsaying.

The take out? While you babes remain one of the most complicated kinds in history to decode, us men are quite simple. Dashingly handsome, but simple.

#letsbefrank

xx frank

As with orgasms & suntans, fake isn't sexy.